The table's set and    The turkey's out    Christmas is here    Let out a shout    The family's gathered all about    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Everyone is wearing big smiles    They all try to    Act nice for a while    Then George calls his in-laws vile    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Always that one time of the year    When everyone's problems disappear    And everyone smiles from ear to ear    Christmas, Christmas is here!       George has been drinking a lot    He just can't keep    Out of the sauce    He says his wife's been    Screwing her boss    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Margaret throws her food in his face    People are hungry    It's really a waste    Then she screams,    "How does that taste?"    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Always that one time of the year    When everyone's problems disappear    And everyone smiles from ear to ear    Christmas, Christmas is here!       George picks up the carving knife    Weilds it around    And starts to slice    Henry cocks his shotgun twice    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Henry says,    "Hey, what's the deal?    Just sit down and finish your meal    Or I'll pump you full of steel!"    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Always that one time of the year    When everyone's problems disappear    And everyone smiles from ear to ear    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Police arrive just after eight    Responding to a noise complaint    Open the door    What a grisly fate    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Fa la la and deck the halls    Blood was spattered on the walls    Merry Christmas, one and all!    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Always that one time of the year    When everyone's problems disappear    And everyone smiles from ear to ear    Christmas, Christmas is here!       Always that one time of the year    When everyone's problems disappear    And everyone smiles from ear to ear    Christmas, Christmas is here!       (*spoken* Merry Christmas! Yeah.)