Maybe some day I’ll decide to stop thinking  Get a job and achieve the approval of my neighbors  Buy myself a beemer and a condo out in Vail  Send my boys off to college if I can keep them out of jail  Maybe then I’ll winter down Florida  Make myself a melanoma yarmulke, take lots of short walks  Eat prunes fear salt wear plaid drive slow  And take herbal tea with my early bird special  Pray that my memory lasts as long as me  And sit around the sauna counting varicose vessels    CHORUS  Don’t ask me what I’m doing  Don’t ask me why I’m doing it  I’ll do what I wanna do (x4)    Maybe some day I should learn about god,  Buy the book rent the flick hell anything tell me why  The first thing they did was put an izmeil* to my dick  Snippy snip mazel tov hey really makes me want to pray  Build me an ashram up in Waltham,  Decorate a warehouse and meditate on toe-jam  Dow Zen Krishna Buddha anything at all to help me  Ease the woulda coulda shoulda blues  Pardon my expression but it’s kinda hard not to laugh  At anybody wearing those shoes    CHORUS    Maybe someday I could find myself a girl  With a really long fuse and a forgiving sense of humor  She wouldn’t have to clean unless  She couldn’t stand the normal mess  That piles up around me inexplicably  Find ourselves a preacher rent ourselves a hall  Tie the knot go home put the pre-nup on the wall  Get down to the task of putting up with each other  ‘Til the war becomes worse than the prospect of divorce  If this interests anyone, see me when the show’s done  With this caveat...I tend to sweat a lot    CHORUS