Well, a couple of good friends of mine, Elmo and Patsy, wrote me   And said they'd written the perfect country Christmas comedy song   I said, "No, you didn't, you didn't mention nothing about"   Well, yeah, you pretty much got it all, I mean grandma   And of course the family and getting drunk   And run over by heavy machinery and      Well, since I needed the money   I felt obliged to include it on this record   And it goes a little something like this      Grandma got run over by a reindeer   Walking home from our house Christmas Eve   You can say there's no such thing as Santa   But as for me and Grandpa, we believe      She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog   And we'd begged her not to go   But she'd forgot her medication   And she staggered out the door into the snow      When they found her Christmas mornin'   At the scene of the attack   She had hoof prints on her forehead   And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back      Grandma got run over by a reindeer   Walking home from our house Christmas Eve   You can say there's no such thing as Santa   But as for me and Grandpa, we believe      Now, we're all so proud of Grandpa   He's been takin' this so well   See him in there watchin' football   Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Mell      It's not Christmas without Grandma   All the family's dressed in black   And we just can't help but wonder   Should we open up her gifts or send them back?   Send them back      Grandma got run over by a reindeer   Walking home from our house Christmas Eve   You can say there's no such thing as Santa   But as for me and Grandpa, we believe      Now the goose is on the table   And the pudding made of fig   And a blue and silver candle   That would have just matched the hair in grandma's wig      I've warned all my friends and neighbors   Better watch out for yourselves   They should never give a license   To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves      Grandma got run over by a reindeer   Walking home from our house Christmas Eve   You can say there's no such thing as Santa   But as for me and Grandpa, we believe      Grandma got run over by a reindeer   Walking home from our house Christmas Eve   You can say there's no such thing as Santa   But as for me and Grandpa we belive