Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult      Now that's rediculous      Well, I'm joinin it so you gotta sign up too      What are you talkin about?      Hey, man, don't fuck me on this, just sign up      No! I'm not gonna join a cult!      I can't believe your pullin this shit on me after Monday   night... I...      What?      I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to   watch that other show and we watched your show. I did that   for you!      Yeah, well you kept flippin back to the game!      I wanted to see the fuckin score!!! What do you gotta do   that's so fuckin important, you can't join the religious cult   with me?!      Well, I was gonna go sunbathing      Oh boy, no, no I don't think you should do that because   this guy Russel, he's the leader guy of the cult,...      Yeah...      ...he was ramblin on during one of his speeches about the   sun being bad...      Uh huh...      ...like the Beast can't come out because the sun's too bright   and it hurts his eyes or sumthin... You show up all sunburned   and that guy's gonna be pissed at you and me      Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry about   pissin the leader guy off      Look, I'm starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guy's   been sayin, some of it makes a lot of sense      Good, but I don't wanna join the cult. We can still hang out,   I just won't be in it with you      The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with you   cause I'm gonna be fuckin busy with this fuckin cult      So I'll visit on weekends, we'll work it out      No, the weekends are like the busiest time. That's when we   go to flea markets and fuckin malls and talk people into   joinin, man      Can I just join for a little while? I told my dad I'd visit him in   Florida in three weeks      Just... You'll ask them, but we gotta join now      Well, what's the hurry?      There a girl I wanna meet there!!! What the fuck's your problem?!      Well... I mean, I don't really have to believe in this stuff, do I?      No, no! Just fuckin tell everyone you believe in the shit.    When they say the sun sucks, say 'Yeah! Fuck the sun!   I fuckin hate it too! Long live the fuckin Beast'      I don't know man, this is crazy...       Look, they're gonna give you clothes, they're gonna give    you a free haircut, you're gonna get food...      It's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?      It's gonna be a haircut, alright? You said you need a haircut,    they're gonna fuckin cut your hair. You're goin in savin    twelve bucks, just fuckin do it!!!      You think the hot girl has a friend for me?      Probably.. I don't... And if she doesn't she'll go out and recruit one for ya      Well... alright...... But hey, if I don't like it, I'm gonna escape, man...      Okay, that's up to you      THREE WEEKS LATER      (chant in background: The nighttime is the right time!)      Hey buddy, you glad you did this?      Oh, this is the best thing I ever did, thank you      You're not mad at them makin you, uh, kill your father, are ya?      Ya know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him.      You're a good guy.      You're a better one...