I am not American,   Though I live in North America   Which is part of the Americas   Which should make me an American      Geographically Canadians,   Are certainly Americans   As are Venezuelans,   But not Hawaiians      They're out in the middle of the Ocean   Just like the U.S. Virgin Islands,   They really shouldn't say they are Americans,   Or even virgins      How could two whole continents,   Lose their name to one constituent?   Where were we when the U.S. went,   And took the word American away?      But to be fair to them,   Their other name options,   Like U.S.A.ers or United Statesians,   Were pretty bad      Still I want to be as American,   As the French are European,   Or those in Antarctica are Antarctican   Even if they're just penguins      That leaves us Canadians as Northern North American,   But Alaska’s Norther curse them   We're surrounded by Americans   Americans, Americans!      I just called those U.S.A.ers Americans   A name meant for two continents not just them   For if I said I was American,   People would probably think I came from Maine      Still I think I have a plan,   Let's become Antarctican,    And join up with the penguins   For just like them, we're not American!