Hey kid, why the long face    Is it cause Santa Claus is    Flying right on over your place    You've been a bad kid all year       So quit your snivellin' sucker    And wipe up them tears    You don't deserve a damn thing    You're not even cute and your attitude stinks       It must suck to be you    Nobody likes you so what can you do    You think you got problems kid,    You think you got strife?       But come each December do you fear for your life?    I'm your turkey baby, so your troubles are small    I'm stuffed on your table, I'm a tasty butterball    I've got the Christmas turkey blues       If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too    I've got the Christmas turkey blues    You chase me and waste and baste me   And taste me and drown me in gravy too       You sir, you look like heck    Didn't you get your Christmas bonus cheque    Or maybe your woman left you    Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too       Is that why you're reeking of gin    You look disheveled and there's drool on your chin    You thought that this love would laugh    But she said Merry Christmas baby and she booted your ass       Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal   How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you fee    I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish    It won't be long til I'm just some scraps on a dish       I've got the Christmas turkey blues    If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too    I've got the Christmas turkey blues    You chase me and waste and baste me       And taste me and drown me in gravy too    (*spoken*) Let's take a walk