I've been thinking about just one thing   Since Christmas time last year   When I got off with you at the Christmas do   After eight pints of beer      You must have been the worst for wear   'Cause you asked me back to your crib   I couldn't believe my luck 'cause I fancied you for ages   And I hoped maybe you'd touch my nib      I'll never forget the first time we kissed   The joy, it was immeasurable   Then, if you remember, you fellated my penis   Which was also very pleasurable      When I went to do a similiar thing to you   In my guts I felt a twinge   You'd been dancing all night to the DJ's tunes   And I'm afraid you had disco minge      As I started heading south   The juices came in my mouth   And have you forgiven, forgot   For what I did on your front bot?      I'm sorry I yakked up on your pubes   Can you give us another go?   This Christmas, Miss   I want to kiss you under the camel toe      Now the Christmas trees are up again   And the bells are decked with holly   After vomiting vol-au-vents on your vag   I felt a bit of a wally      This year I've only had six pints   I swear I've taken it easy   And I've got a Tesco carrier in my pocket   In case I start to feel queasy      But stood there in those leggings   You really look a treat   I can see the outline of your outer labs   And they look good enough to eat      So this year I'm gonna grab ya   Before the DJ's on the decks   Drag you underneath the mistletoe   And perform an act of oral sex      This year I'm gonna try and keep my buffet down   If you'll just give me another go   This Christmas, Miss   I want to kiss you under the camel toe      I promise not to puke up on your pubic mound   If you'll just give me another go   This Christmas, Miss   I want to kiss you under the camel toe      This Christmas, Miss   I want to kiss you under the camel toe