I met this girl on Myspace   She was 16 and a half   She said that I was well buff   And that I made her laugh   So I sent her a picture   Of me wanking in the bath      I think I misjudged the situation   She didn't want to see my soapy masturbation   Please don't grass me up to Tom!      There's a lot of perverts on the internet   Trying to chat up girls and get their ding-dongs wet   I am one but don't tell my Mum   'Cause if she finds out then I'm gonna get done      LITTLE MISS KUNT:   There's a lot of perverts on the internet   Trying to chat up girls and get our ding-dongs wet   He is one but don't tell his Mum   'Cause if she finds out then he's gonna get done      Then there was this lady   I met on Yahoo! chat   We were getting on like a house on fire   Then everything went flat   When I asked to see a picture   Of her fingering her twat      I think I misjudged the situation   She grassed me up to the bod in charge of moderation   And now my user account is blocked      There's a lot of perverts on the internet   Trying to chat up girls and get their front bums wet   I am one but don't tell my Mum   'Cause if she finds out then I'm gonna get done      LITTLE MISS KUNT:   There's a lot of perverts on the internet   Trying to chat up girls and get our front bums wet   He is one but don't tell his Mum   'Cause if she finds out then he's gonna get done      I found this girl on Facebook   With whom I used to go to school   I left a little message for her   Up there on her wall   Of how I often think of her   Whilst playing with my tool      I think I misjudged the situation   She told her husband about my masturbation   And now he wants to kick me in the pods