England! England!   Let's have a wank for England!   England! England!   Let's have a wank for England!      My grandad told me a story   Back in Euro '96   Before every single England game   He wanked his hairy prick   And to this day he still maintains   He stops us getting knocked out   But he forgot before the semi's   And we lost on penalties to the Krauts      So, this year before the qualifiers   I gave my cock a feel   Before I knew it, we'd beat Israel   And Russia and Estonia 3-nil   But despite my constant fondling   Of my lucky erection   Even that couldn't compensate   For McClaren's poxy team selection      So, we didn't qualify for the Euro champs   Because McClaren tried to shoehorn in Gerrard and Lamps   So I won't get to wank my hairy peepy like my Gramps   To help us win the cup for England      I've had my last wank   I've had my last wank   I've had my last wank for England   Carson wasn't right and 4-5-1 was shite   So I've had my last wank for England      Now while Baddiel and Skinner   Sang about 30 years of hurt   My Grandad wanked his cock off   With his finger up his dinky dirt   And in those days before we'd even heard of meta-tarsels   My old Grandad multi-tasked   His front bum and his arsehole      And I was hoping I would get   To uphold the tradition   And wank for luck   To help us progress in the competition   But McClaren's ineptitude   Has left us high and dry   So the only little wank I'll have   Is with a little cry      So, we didn't qualify for the Euro champs   Because Steve McClaren fucked the team selection up   So I'm not gonna try and make my flaccid knob spunk up   'Cause I've had my last wank for England      I've had my last wank   I've had my last wank   I've had my last wank for England   We played really wank   He shouldn't have brought back Frank   He should've have stuck with Gerrard and Barry