I bought a book with Carol Vorderman on the front   'Cause I thought they'd be some pictures of her hairy cunt   But instead it was full of detox recipes   With celery, lentils and chick fuckin' peas   Well, I felt like a dirty trick had been played   I'm already so thin there's a rumour I've got Aids   I love Carol Vorderman, I think she's a fox   But there's only one place I want her to detox      CHORUS:   Detox my cock, oh, won't you pull it off?   I need to get rid of all this off milk from my pods   Detox my cock, oh, pull my foreskin back   I need to get rid of all this bad juice from my sack, my scrotal sack   My sack, my scrotal sack      I tried a health farm to get my ball bags clear   But they just turned me over and displayed my rear   They stuck a hose up my arse and pumped me full of Gold Blend   It burst one of my piles and now I'm on the mend   I felt like I'd been the butt of something shady   Because I already weighed less than Ian Brady   I love Carol so much I have to touch my dirt box   But there's only one place I'd like her to detox   (Can you guess where that is?)