Carol's really beautiful and very good at sums   I'd like to put my willy in her nuni or her bum   She always gets the number's right, she's got me into maths   I'll take away her pants and add my corey to her gash      CHORUS:   Oh, Carol, when I see you on 'Countdown'   I have to pull my pants down   And pop a finger in my brown      When she multiplies I unzip my flies   Then when she divides I put my hand inside   And then when she adds, I whop out my knob and 'nads   Then when she subtracts I perform a sexual act      Carol's really glamorous, she wears the latest stuff   She's fit for 40 something and I want to doink her muff   She tells you the target but it is my goal   To one day divide her flaps and then square root her hole      I've loved Carol Vorderman since 1985   I sometimes like to lurk around the bottom of her drive   I sometimes like to follow her when she goes to the shops   I sometimes open up her drains and examine her plops   I met her once and told her that I was her biggest fan   She signed me an autograph and put it in my hand   But at that point I felt a little throbbing in my gland   I realised I was ejaculating in my pants   Over Carol Vorderman, Carol Vorderman...