When I'm in a night club I always seek   Tasty looking girls with whom I'd like to speak   But if I want a girl who's gonna help me reach my peak   I always make sure that she's rank      If you want a loving and a long relationship   You might want to insure your partner is quite fit   But if you want a girl who says "Spunk on my tits"   You'd better make sure that she's rank      If you want a girl who's gonna spank your plank   You'd better make sure that she's rank      Even if she's a fucking disgrace   Or got a big birth mark on her face   If she's got two boobs and a chuff   She'll help me win the milk race      Well, what about facial hair?   Or a smell that emanates from downstairs?   A bit of a 'tache or a whiffy gash   Hell, I don't care!      If you want a girl who enters beauty shows and always wins   She'll need a lovely figure and some gorgeous pins   But if you want your corey sucked behind the Co-op bins   You'd better make sure that she's rank      If you want a girl who you can take home to meet your folks   She'll be nice, respectful, politely smile at jokes   But if you're 6 months down the line and want a sweaty poke   You'd better make sure that she's rank      If you want a girl who's gonna spank your plank   You'd better make sure that she's   You have to make sure that she's   You'd better make sure that she's rank   Make sure that she's rank!