Last Friday night I was due out on a date   But unfortunately I got home really late   I didn't have time for a bath or a shower   There's only one thing that could save us   It's just like a shower but it's over the sink   The only thing that get's washed is shiny and pink   If there's a possibility of fellatio you have to make sure   That your knob doesn't smell like Quavers      A gentleman's wash   A gentleman's wash   If you think there's half a chance   Your cock might get a nosh   Pull your pants to one side   Wash the men that they hide   And that's a little gentleman's wash!      The other weekend I was out on the piss   When this girl who was wankered came and gave me a kiss   She said "I bet you've got a big knob 'cause you've got big hands"   Just like Peter Shilton   But I'd come straight from footy and I thought my cock must stink   So I rushed to the bogs and flopped it out in the sink   I thought if I'm gonna get sucked off it's only good manners to make sure   That my knob doesn't smell like Stilton      A gentleman's wash   A gentleman's wash   If you think there's half a chance   Your cock might get a nosh   Pull back your skin   Wash the helmet within   And that's a little gentleman's   Have a little gentleman's   That's a little gentleman's wash!